We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

Our users love us. Both of them.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

We do standups to remember who's still here.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.