We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We have more decks than users.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We're building a community of confused users.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.