We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We're building a community of confused users.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.